summer love.

goodbye june.

it's the last day of June; the end of June always make me shudder as it marks the half-way point of yet another year of my life. there are officially six months left of 2009. i don't know WHERE this month went? not to mention, the last six months of this year. ever since i left High School, i find it hard to distinguish one year from another, or rather one event from another. it seems like one giant amalgam, carrying on from one year to the next. it's like i am setting aside these University years to never re-visit again; forever a part of my past and that is how i want it to remain.

i have a million things eating up my mind lately and there seems to be no end. numerous nights i spent in High School wanting to run away - little did i know that things only get more complex with time, with age, with circumstance. how easy it was then, to pout, throw a tantrum and expect order. not so much anymore.

i start work tomorrow. wishing all a happy July.

x

a week.

it has been a slow week; i can't believe it has only been a week. i have spent it doing absolutely nothing productive. there are a couple things that i want to get through before this summer is over. one of them being making two scrapbooks/albums; one of my senior prom and the other of my senior trip to Koh Samui. i have also yet to properly decorate my room, get all the furniture and finally complete the whole look i am going for. i ought to stop procrastinating getting my driver's license. i have been postponing it for the past two summers and never end up getting around to it. not to menion the fact that i could care less about driving - but it's something that has to be done. so back to my week: they've consisted of a few outtings, a couple meetings with old friends, some dinners and me watching the new Transformers. to be honest, i was not all that wow-ed by it. maybe it's because of all the hype and anticipation but i found the first one much much better. for some reason (even though the special effects and Megan Fox were both brilliant!) i found myself a little bored and wanting the movie to be over already. i'd recommend it because it's one of the 'Summer Blockbusters' but...that's about it.

i begin my internship at M&C Saatchi this week and to be honest, i am not all that enthused. i worked there last year and did thoroughly enjoy it but the fact that i'm going back somewhat leaves little to the imagination. i know more or less what to expect and who to meet; though that offers a level of comfort, it isn't all that exciting. but at the end of the day, i need something to keep me busy and to get through the next two months. am i actually counting down the days to return to the UK? something must be wrong. or i may have become too accustomed to my independence.

x

the city has a beating heart.

you said the city has a beating heart
that pushes people down the boulevard
and they're all hoping for a wish fulfilled
in a desert for a dollar bill
those foolish dreams, you know they plague me still

friends.

ah Chuck and Blair; the love-hate pairing of this era. why is it that we always want those that aren't 'right' for us? we never want the readily available, confessing their love and wearing their hearts on their sleeves-type. even i, the hopeless romantic. no, we fall for the inconvenient, troublesome and never straightforward. maybe that's what makes love what it really is? or maybe i'm thinking more along the lines of passion? sensuous, consuming and a little insane. falling for the inconvenient just does not compare to anything else. well, this life is too short to remain sane anyways.

x

pocket full of stars.

now you know i need a miracle
a star-crossed lover
an arrow in my heart
i need a rainy day in an endless summer
a pocket full of stars

i hate change. i really do; always have. as human beings, we're constantly in search of the familiar, of a certain level of comfort and i for one definitely like my comfort. it's somewhat bizarre to think how much i hate change when i have had to deal with it my entire life. adapting to new and uncomfortable situations is almost like second nature to me - only it is anything but easy for me (for some strange reason). don't get me wrong, i feel truly blessed to have experienced all that i have in my life so far, i'm just trying to figure out why i always shy away from the unfamiliar. i guess because it isn't easy for me to find comfort in a situation (person, places, etc) in the first place so once i do, i subconsciously place 'all my eggs in one basket' - for lack of a better phrase. overtime though, this has made me cautious. too cautious to take chances and really live for once.

i have lately not been able to stop thinking about chances; having to do with the point i have reached in my life. i graduate university in one more year and that has stimulated a hoard of questions, many being rhetorical (much to my dislike). i question: when is it right to take a chance? once this chapter of my life is over, it will be crucial to 'make the right decision' won't it? and then there are people who talk about going for what you love, following your dreams and doing something different. why is doing something different often synonymous with uncertainty, something risky or taking a chance? it's as if it's assumed that following your dreams is automatically something that goes against societal norms.

what are societal norms? and who has made them so? did they not once start out as dreams? i have a lot of decisions to make these next couple of years. ones that can and will possibly change my life forever. it would be nice to have something to fall back on, no matter what. but of course - changes will take place.

my dislike for change is quite funny - especially since change is the only constant in this world as after all, everything changes. all the time.

x

mendes and klein.

i absolutely love the new Calvin Klein Fall 2009 campaign with Eva Mendes, for Jeans and CK Underwear; they're just too hot for words. pity that my attention isn't even the least bit on the clothes she's meant to be advertising!

sigh..i envy Latin women - just a little bit.

x

gilded butterflies.

we will all laugh at gilded butterflies

bleed this skyline dry.

some images of one of the most beautiful sunsets i've seen lately from outside my window; around 7:30 pm today. i know i absolutely adore the city skyline, with its tall buildings and glittering lights but nature just has its own charm. and the colours that painted the clear sky this evening were just stellar. Southeast Asia truly has the perfect balance of nature vs a concrete jungle, East vs West. so i've been stuck at home all day today after a busy, busy last couple of days. it wasn't a good day (to put it lightly and it felt like High School all over again) but this sunset definitely put some things into perspective.

x

i'd like to..

your new twin sized bed.

eyes on fire.

i'll seek you out
flay you alive
one more word and you won't survive
and i'm not scared of your stolen power
i see right through you at any hour

i won't soothe your pain
i won't ease your strain
you'll be waiting in vain
i've got nothing for you to gain

i'm taking it slow
feeding my flame
shuffling the cards of your game
and just in time
in the right place
suddenly i will play my ace

i won't soothe your pain
i won't ease your strain
you'll be waiting in vain
i've got nothing for you to gain

eyes on fire
your spine is ablaze
felling any foe with my gaze

and just in time
in the right place
suddenly emerging with grace

felling any foe with my gaze
suddenly emerging with grace
felling any foe with my gaze
suddenly emerging with grace

Blue Foundation

sooner or later.

it's been a week since i've been back in KL, only it seems much longer - and not in a good way. i have been spending my days going to bed far too late (a horrible habit that i've carried over with me from Uni life) and waking up well into the afternoon. the rest of the day is spent either lazing around the house or with me getting irritated by sitting at home and wandering through malls alone though there is only so much one can do there. i fear that whatever made this city what it was to me, isn't there anymore. it now just seems...empty. completely empty of the life that it once represented for me. i knew that i would be facing this sooner or later only, i guess i was hoping for the later. i find myself somewhat homeless now; it's hard to explain but i don't know where i feel satisfied anymore.

on a less depressing note, i watched Terminator Salvation this evening and was completely blown away by it! i loved it! the special effects, the presentation, everything and was quite amused by the small cameo by Arnold himself (i'm not even going to bother to attempt to spell his last name). it did make me a little nostalgic of the original Terminator i'd watch, huddled under pillows at the tender age of 6 or 7 - i cannot remember how long ago it came out. i just remember it being much scarier that what i saw today. maybe it was the age.

x

and so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

so i am officially obsessed with the Twilight series. obsessed is actually an understatement! i am so in love with these books; i haven't been so since the Harry Potters. and of course the movie does not do enough justice to the books however, i will admit to watching it over and over again (i watched it for the 3rd time on my flight from Dubai to KL) just for the beautifully haunting Robert Pattinson. what annoys me most is reading on various gossip sites about people spotting him in pubs in London! grr..just a couple hours away from me. anyways so i just finished reading Twilight this evening and am already well into New Moon. yay for a new obsession! i am ecstatic about the new movie coincidentally coming out right around my birthday which makes me uber happy. anyone know how i can get myself into the New Moon premiere in London? considering the worldwide craze and demand for Mr. Pattinson, it's sadly not going to be easy. but a girl can dream...sigh.

x

loyal lover.

will i have learnt so very little
when these bones are old and brittle?
i wait to talk when i should listen
and cloud mistakes with false revisions



i was once a loyal lover
whose lips did never seek another's
but now each love is more like a match
a blinding spark that burns out fast

i still believe in fairytales.

city of lights.

i have been majorly slacking lately, i apologize. the last couple of days have been a whirlwind; assessment, presentation, packing, moving, flying for a total of 13 hours, waiting at the Dubai airport for a total of 4 hours and finally landing at home at 9:30 pm last night. it's been a long and tiresome journey, hence my lack of blogging as i haven't been able to find the time. but i am finally home now - the tropical heat is a little unbearable but the surrounding beauty makes up for it. as of now, it's overwhelming yet satisfying to be back at the same time. but i know i need to make the most of these next 4 months before i have to be back in the cold, the gray and the ugly. nonetheless, i must admit that the last week or so in England was simply beautiful, probably the perfect time to be living in the UK. jetlag has been incredibly strange, i'm sleepy throughout the day despite having slept for 13 hours straight last night. but for now, i am loving being back in Asia and so ready to live it up - something i seldom do.

ohohoh one more thing i'm euphoric about - the brand new New Moon trailer that premiered at the MTV Movie Awards last weekend. so beautiful. to add to my new found addiction to the Twilight series. i picked up the first 3 books last week and have not been able to put it down since. hello obsession! nonetheless, Harry Potter will always be my first love. i've grown up with it, after all.



x