october blues.

i need to vent.

there are a myriad things going through my mind right now (and over these last couple of days); many totally unnecessary but my over-analytical self feels the need to provide them shelter in my already overloaded brain. there is one more week left of October! if September felt like a rush then i can't even recall the existence of October through the days passed. all i know is, everything is happening a little too fast and reality hasn't been shy to slap me in the face. i was in la-la land this entire time, in my own little world all care and worry free. deadlines loom ahead and are a painful reminder of my negligence thus. far the most daunting part is that never before has my future seemed so attainable and concrete yet so delicate and self-destructive. i had a little breakdown the other night, numerous bouts of hyperventilation over whether i can actually get through this next month or so! it's incredibly overwhelming!

but...i believe i can. i believe i can. i believe i can. and that is known as 'positive thinking'.

x